So Much for Dinner

“Well, I’ve heard all I need to hear," Doc gets up and pulls his .44.

Thunderhorse reacts as well, jumping up from his seat and drawing one of the the vibroknives. The party is stunned.

"Gentlemen, you are barking up the wrong tree. One look at this man should tell you that he is much more interested in saving lives than taking them. Look at his hands."

They look. Dr. Ritenrong holds them for inspection. He's as much in shock as the rest.

Doc continues. "Soft as a baby’s bottom, not the hands of a cold-blooded killer. You are trying very hard to hang an innocent man and this is a grievous wrong, but I am not about to compound the sin of murder by killing good, honest Christians who are doing what they think is right."

"Now look here, son-" starts the Judge.

"Don’t get me wrong, if you move a whisker, I’ll blow your head clean off, and this pistol holds six shots, so don’t start thinking that I can only drop one of you. I am asking for some cooperation and you are damn sure going to provide it. While I don’t want to kill anyone, Don here is not hindered at all by Christian values. He is more than willing to beat you to a pulp to where your own mother wouldn’t recognize you, but maybe he is a little tired and would rather just gut you like a fatted calf. Perhaps you’ve heard about the poor militiamen who are now regretting they ever laid eyes on him."

"It's true. He beat them fellers good," the sheriff chimes in.

"When he gets ornery even I can’t stop him. Now if you all would kindly put your hands behind your backs and accept the minor inconvenience of the gags we have provided, we’ll get you into this nice comfy cell that the sheriff has provided."

The party complies. Doc strips the Marshal of his twin single-shot pistols first. He gets Thunderhorse to tie the cloth napkins his mouth. He goes to the sheriff next, and extracts his old gun and his keys. Thunderhorse ties a napkin into his mouth as well. The Judge is unarmed. Thunderhorse ties the gag extra tight.

"Lautes Arschloch," he says as he ties. The judge moans in pain.

"Deputy, if you would open that cell for us." Doc tosses the keys to the deputy, keeping his gun trained on the party guests. Deputy Johnson nods and does as he's told. He tosses the keys gently onto the table in front of Doc.

"Yer doin' the right thing, sir," the deputy comments.

"[Shut up, boy]," mumbles the sheriff through his gag.

Doc waves the party guests into the open jail cell. The deputy and the cook, Wendy Thompson, follow them in. Doc locks the door behind them.

Dr. Ritenron exits his cell at this point. Doc tosses him the key ring. He looks at the set, picks the correct key, and undoes his shackles in a matter of seconds.

Doc drops the money he made earlier on the table. "By the way, here is twenty dollars for the meal I’ve ruined. And if you are thinking of forming a posse, you had best set out looking for a Mr. James Ford. He sold us some horses that weren’t his to sell. Judge, here is six dollars against the horses. Mr. Ford has the rest of your change. As of 4 o’clock, he was a cloud of dust headed for Michigan, so he has a bit of a head start. Trying to follow us would be a fruitless effort as I have spent the better part of the afternoon lining the road with torpedoes and we wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt now would we. Thank you ma’am for the lovely meal, I’m sure it is delicious, and good night.”

The three time operatives exit the sheriff's office in a hurry. It's still light out. The 21st is back at the dock where the Chesapeake is put in, sitting on crates, smoking and bullshitting. The trio whip around to the stables without their notice.

"We need to get my stuff," Ritenrong says as they mount up. "The pipe, my watch, and my Q-TIP are all in the basement of Olden's church."

"Your Q-tip?!" Doc nearly screams. "We need to get out of here!"

"Quantum-Temporal Interference Projector. My time machine!"


ERR said...

Mission Goal achieved: Rescued Dr. Ritenrong. Party XP +500!

Didn't need to use Chi there, a gun (from the future!) is just as good a persuader. Besides, Doc's down to 1 Chi, and using that last one will exhaust him, which is kinda like having exactly 0 HP

ERR said...

This is fucking awesome. You may as well have pulled a laser gun on these guys. I'm having a blast writing this.

ERR said...

Doc got 3 Flintlock Pistols

Doc said...

Shit! do you mean we have to break into the church? Fuck! We are trying to run here!

Is there any acid left? What the fuck do I do? It is broad fucking daylight and we just tied up the government, as well as our waitress. I can't fucking blast my way into a church at six fucking thirty. Picking the lock doesn't sound wise on a busy street. We need to flee, as in Eff, Ell, EE, EE. We will pick these things up later when the militia is on the battlefield and the Judge/Reverand and the Marshal aren't there. Book it. Head to the ship by the fastest route possible.

Should we be pursued, (please no), light and drop a stick of dynamite along the way, up to three. Not close enough to hurt anyone, but enough to convince them not to continue.

Either way, head to the ship and hold an impromtu meeting. Dr. Ritenrong has to do some fast talking. I have been plucked from my time and I need some answers. Not to mention the fact that I have this drunken viking for a partner. What the FUCK am I going to tell him. He still pines for his woman. What is the good Dr. going to say to sway him? We suddenly find ourselves out of time and grossly out of focus. This had better be good. He is dealing with a crew that is approaching hostile. You have asked them to do something that is out of their nature (I've held people at gunpoint and "Don" has had to restrain himself). Mind you, you have time on your side, but this had better be pretty polished or you may lose Thunderhorse in the translation. He is a tricky one to handle. I know.

Let the good Dr. have his say, but if all he needs is a ruckus at the right time, we can provide it. String the dynamite out at intervals with the fuses all along a shallow ditch, if we have the time, and fill the ditch from the Jerry-Can from the Jeep with gasoline.

We can touch it off at a safe distance and cause mass confusion. We will even fire off a few shots from our safe distance. That should be enough to create the illusion that an army was involved. After all, there should be seven sticks of dynamite left even if we used three in our escape.

After our stint on the battlefield, if we can in reasonable safety, return for Dr. Ritenrongs stuff, do so. If other plans need to be made, say so.

The story and the rolls are up to you. Have Fun! I am!


Doc said...

I can honestly say, this is better than anything I could have imagined.