Pick a Ride

Doc has to practically drag both Mark and Thunderhorse out of the Hot Topic.

"Did you see that maiden?" Thunderhorse swoons. "She looked like a mace. Tough and ready for battle. I've never seen such a woman!"

Mark is spouting off on his share of cultural discovery. "Did you see the size of that purple cock? That's the funniest damned thing I ever seen! Haha, you could beat a pig to death with that thing!"

Doc can merely roll his eyes. This backwards town is nearly two hundred years behind the times but to these two clowns it's the cultural center of the universe.

Thunderhorse continues as if Mark was talking about his own thoughts. "Yes. Tonight, I will have that wench. After we kill the Sons of Loki."

Doc stops him. "We're not going to kill anyone."

"Haha, no, no. We will kill them. I am sworn to do so."

"They're not warriors. They're musicians. Minstrels. It's a battle of the bands. Groups of musicians? She thought that's what we are."


"They want to fight with music, not axes. Can you play any musical instruments? Can you sing?"

"My mother told me I sing like a dying sheep."

"Then this is a fight we cannot win."

"But, free drinks! And the wench!"

"I'll buy you drinks later on and we can wench it up somewhere else. For now, let's just do our jobs and get out of here."

They stop back at the Python so Thunderhorse can get dressed. He puts the Manowar t-shirt on over his armor, and the pleather jacket fits nicely over that. He puts the jeans on so that the flaps of his loincloth still hang out, but that the rather disgustingly dirty groin support is concealed. His boots go on over the cuffs of the jeans, and his bracers over the cuffs of the jacket. In all, he looks like someone stuffed Conan the Barbarian inside a mall goth. The most interesting effect is the t-shirt, which makes it look like he's wearing a shirt with his own picture on it. He even mimicks the pose when the outfit is complete.

Meanwhile, Doc is able to dissassemble the assault rifles. He can fit one in his own satchel and one in the backpack without the tent. He doesn't know quite to expect from this place, but if it's anything like the last time he was in Russian controlled territory, he'll want to have heavy weapons available.

He makes a quick mental inventory:
Mark has his sword and an pulse ion pistol. He can carry the backpack with the tent.
Thunderhorse only has his shockstick. He'll take the backpack with the assault rifle in it.
Doc has a pain gun, pulse ion pistol, and his switchblade. He's got the assault rifle and an advanced medkit in his satchel, along with various other tools.

"Okay, boys. Let's go."

Doc leads them down the street towards the car rentals. Again they are assaulted by street performers trying to get the attention of the only foreingers in town. Doc stops them only briefly to purchase some nesting dolls from a trinkets store. He has them wrap it up and tells them to ship it to Nadine.

The car rentals is everything you would expect from a backwards town such as this. The place is filthy, run down, and filled with rotting vehicles, ranging from the very ancient to the slightly less ancient.

Doc wishes he had his jeep right now.

The car dealer anticipates their arrival as they walk down the street. He greets them at the curb and speaks heavilly accented English. "Hello! Welcome to Petrovic Automotive! I am Vladimir Petrovic! We have vehicles of all kinds for sale or rent!"

"We need to get to Khara. What do you have that will get us there and back?"

"Oh, everything I have will get you there! Which do you prefer, a hover car or wheeled car? The old wheeled cars are cheaper, but the roads are old and cracked. Not much ice this time of year, but mud is thick in places. My hover cars will get you there smoothly in no time, though."

"Do you have a Jeep?"

"No Jeeps, sorry. I do have very nice vintage hybrid Hummer 4. Very stylish. I also have old petrolium Land Rover and a hydro-cell Terran. Hover cars are much better, though. No need for gasoline at all, no worring about wheels and shocks and suspension and getting stuck in mud. How about a Honda Astrovan or a Toyota Primavera? I also have an Ultraranger and a GM Utilift. Which will you have?"

1 comment:

Doc said...


"We'll take the best you have, something with cargo room, cruise control, Gps, and the full insurance policy please. Do you have a strict 'no tobacco' policy?"

Get the hovercar. I'm sure none of these wrecks have a winch and I don't want to be stuck in the mud. I'm certain that the oriental gentlemen are on our tail, as we left a mutilated corpse floating and they haven't checked in. Should we see a hardware store, purchase an axe for Thunderhorse, as it will go well with his new outfit.

I know we are running through the money quickly, but I'm sure there is a train we could rob in the past.